I was 23 years old when I got married. It was NOT due to pregnancy, pressure, or lust. I had been dating my wife since I was 15 years old and in our almost 8 years together we had managed to navigate 4 years of separation due to college and another 2 years of separation as we began our careers in different states. So when we promised to love for better or worse on a hot summer day at the Baltimore Zoo I was not at all hesitant. We had love, we are both smart, hard working and the world was about to be our oyster. One day however, the glow of the wedding started to fade and realities of marriage began to set in.
I had heard stories and accounts of women who wanted to change and mold men to their liking. I came into marriage a video game obsessed NFL junkie and no dame with great gams was going to change me. So when I got married I never broke my routine. We had two cars so I went where I wanted and I figured she'd go where she pleased. I parked my butt on the couch when I came home from work, and I did as I pleased. At the time I was happy, almost boastful to think that I had managed to get married and totally maintain my individuality. What made matters worse was that I honestly thought my wife was as happy with this arrangement. So when first expressed unhappiness to me, I was floored.
Genesis 2:24 says that a man shall leave his mother and father, cling to his wife and they shall be one flesh. Jesus repeats this in Mark 10:8 when he emphasizes that the two become one. I always took this passage to mean that a husband and wife should be close. I read it as hyperbole for two people that are very tight. These verses however don't speak of two very close individuals. This speaks of two people forming an entirely new entity. When the bible says one flesh it speaks not only of inseparable, but indistinguishable. From Adam's rib God made Eve according to Genesis 2. So Eve was not just Adam's wife, but she was from him. They had the same flesh. In Mark 10:9 Jesus tells us that the same God that separated woman from man, when we are married, joins the two together and are not to be torn apart.
I still play my PS4, and have not missed a Ravens game on TV in years. My wife enjoys her time on the computer. With five kids, there is a lot less of that me time to go around. But coming home to a woman I am happy to see, who is also happy to see me is far more valuable than those things I was determined to hold on to.
