I never wanted to be a pastor growing up. Never entertained thoughts of being an elder, a bishop, or any other evangelical title. I wasn't interested in preaching, speaking, teaching or leading. As titles go, I figured that I may peak at deacon; maybe. Things changed for me one Sunday afternoon in a large empty sanctuary in Camden, NJ. This church was located in a maze of boarded up houses, and corner dwelling loiterers. This was not an affluent neighborhood. Elderly people fanning themselves on front porches as small children hung their heads from bedroom windows was reminiscent of scenes I had seen long ago growing up in Baltimore. I didn't, nor do I judge Camden's residents, but I knew where I was and it wasn't Dorothy's Kansas. My wife, my newborn son and I turned into the church's parking lot where a Mercedes Benz with a vanity plate caught our eye. It seemed out of place, but was of no concern of ours. We were visitors, a young family in a new state in search of a "church home".
We parked the car and walked the steep stairs to the foyer. Much to my chagrin, we were ushered to the second pew, where we squoze into a tight confining space. Standing well over 6 feet and tipping the scales at that time in the 270 lbs range I was not a fan of squeezing into anything. I looked around at a sanctuary full of empty pews and wondered why my left knee was awkwardly strewn into the aisle so that my right knee would have enough space to not bang the first pew every time I shifted my weight. Soon after the pastor took the stage I realized why I was herded into tight quarters. As he continually motioned toward an empty balcony and pointed to pews with much more space than compacted pew number two I looked up and noticed two cameras pointed directly at the stage. I purposely call it a stage because the word pulpit, by definition implies divine worship. This was not worship. This was a show. My leg had fallen asleep, and my bible was in the lap of a toddler to give the appearance that the pastor was performing in front of a packed house. As it turned out, we had no need for the bible.
The pastor stood in the front of this church on his stage and quoted biblical fragments, and his own interpretations based on these fragments centering around the phrase, will a man rob God? "I know it's summer time ya'll and that means time for vacation *a huck*, but I wouldn't get on a plane ya'll if I had God's money in my wallet. It's summer time ya'll and it's hot outside, but I wouldn't get in a pool *a huck* with God's money in my wallet. Ananias and Sapphira couldn't even go into Peter's tent with God's money in their pocket." (Side note: If you've ever been duped into believing that Ananias and Sapphira died because they held money back, read Acts 5:4. Peter tells them in no uncertain terms that the land, and the money was theirs and in their control. Their sin was lying.) When the preacher took a seat, after preaching two sermons on giving, his wife went to the microphone and spoke about giving to extreme levels. "If you want to feel God, you have to make him feel you", she started. "Make him feel your pain. Give till it hurts. Give $5,000 because in giving that it will hurt you and God will feel it."
She didn't know it, but that woman inspired me. She inspired me to study the scriptures so that I would not be duped or mislead. She inspired me to empathize with a group of people, burdened by misuse of bible. Most importantly she inspired me to pray for a group of people that I never knew because I believe that all people who want to know the truth about God should have a resource to aid them in their walk; with no concern as to what is in their pocket. That prayer opened the door for God to ask me, "What are you doing about it?"
I don't want to be a pastor. I don't want to be a bishop, an elder, a prophet, or an apostle. I don't even want to be a deacon. All too aware of my own missteps, I hesitate spiritually to lead. I don't dare repeat after Paul when he tells Corinth to follow him as he follows Christ. I simply desire for people to follow Christ. I want to help people find the Truth's truth. I want people to understand the relationship to God that became available when Christ died and the curtain was torn.
This world is perishing, and they don't even know it. In the midst of this, the church as a whole has prostituted itself to prosperity doctrines, and Sunday morning shows. We chase money, power fame and standing and are left wondering why God won't spark revival on our terms. God won't spark revival on our terms. We've traded broken hearts and contrite spirits for haughty hearts and lustful eyes. Then we expect God to pour out blessings into those things that he has already told us he hates.
When greed is God, there's no room for God to be God. If we're searching for God, it's time to let go of the greed.
