I will go to him

My favorite part of +Danny N 's pregnancies is the ultrasounds.  As a Dad, I don't feel the fluttery kicks, the gentle shifts, or the morning stretches.  Until the baby's bones were hard enough create alien like shifts in my wife's stomach I was basically a bystander.  Even after the baby was strong enough to push out I was never sure what part of a baby I was interacting with.  Was I talking to her butt thinking it was her head?  Was I high-fiving a foot?  The only thing I knew for sure was that pregnancy for me was anxious anticipation.  It's akin to watching your parents buy your Christmas present on Easter.  You know what's inside the box, but for the better part of the next year it won't be available for you.  Ultrasounds are awesome though because they provide small glimpses of the person you can't wait to meet.  They provide a measure of clarity to a murky situation.  They are the first glimpses of a child.  They put a face to the frequent bathroom trips, the heartburn and the rhythmic punches and kicks.  They provide a glimpse into the child's personality.  They are valued sneak peaks that temporarily quell then subsequently feed the anticipation of this addition to our family.

Some of us however go through all the stages of pregnancy, manage all of the anticipation for a child that does not survive pregnancy, or survives birth but never makes it home.  For me to speak about this experience would not do it justice as I've never experienced it as a parent.  I've only experienced, as a neighbor, a co-worker, and a friend.  I can't offer soothing words based in experience, only an ear, a shoulder, and prayer.  So as another family my wife and I love goes through this journey again we hope that these may be the right words to find you at the right time and offer comfort in this difficult season:

When you study the life and writings of David in the bible you will see ties between his life and prophesy.  David wrote some, fulfilled others, and was the head of a bloodline that fulfilled even more.  David's understanding of Christ was more than most during the old testament could imagine.  In Psalms 110:1 David writes "The Lord said to my Lord."  This shows knowledge of Jesus Christ as well as His relationship with God before the birth of Christ.  David not only has prophesy about the relationship of Christ, but also the death and resurrection of Christ.  David had a divine understanding of the future, of death, and of life after death.

David understood these things, and like some who read this, David also lost a child.  Set aside the circumstances of why God took the life of David's child and lets look at David's reaction:

¹⁹ But when David saw that his servants whispered, David perceived that the child was dead: therefore David said unto his servants, Is the child dead? And they said, He is dead.
²⁰ Then David arose from the earth, and washed, and anointed himself, and changed his apparel, and came into the house of the Lord, and worshipped: then he came to his own house; and when he required, they set bread before him, and he did eat.
²¹ Then said his servants unto him, What thing is this that thou hast done? thou didst fast and weep for the child, while it was alive; but when the child was dead, thou didst rise and eat bread.
²² And he said, While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell whether God will be gracious to me, that the child may live?

²³ But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.  (2 Samuel 12:19-23)

I don't include this passage to encourage mourning parents to fast forward through the grieving process.  I include this passage to encourage you that while you can not bring you children to you; my saved friends one day you will go to be with your children.  They are on the other side of the ultrasound now; living life as God intended with no sickness or sin while we toil away in a world attempting to distance itself from God.  1 Corinthians 13:9 says that we know in part, and we prophesy in part but when the perfect comes the partial passes away.  

To my brother and sister in Christ whom this was meant for.  Your children have been made perfect.  They have the fullness of Christ.  They know each other.  They know their grandmother.  They know their parents.  They know you.  They love you.  They understand that God has more down here for you because they understand His will, but they wait anxious for the day when you will go to them.  We're praying for you both as you continue to run this race understanding that there are extra special blessings awaiting you at the finished line.

With Love

Danielle and Stuart